Positive Vibration

"Rooms on the Beach", I said it really was on the beach and it is.

The Jamaica Fat Tyre Festival commences with a welcome party on the first night. This year the party was held at John Crows Tavern. On the north shore of Jamaica you will see the name John Crow associated with many things. It is very unclear and probably unknown who John Crow really was. It is the name of a mountain range near the famous Blue Mountains in Jamaica. It is also the name of a type of Jamaican vulture simply known as John Crow bird. The name John Crow is synonomous with many things in Jamaica, among them are death, vanity, evil, ugliness and disgrace. I like to think the tavern is named after the mountains which is a more popular use of the name, although after a few hours at John Crows things can get pretty ugly.

The party was what you would expect from a bunch of mountain bikers on holiday. We were all given schwag bags conataining three bottles of Appleton Rum, six breakfast tickets to a great breakfast place, and all sorts of other goodies. After we all gorged ourselves on great food and Red Stripes we were treated to an open bar for several hours. Throw in copious amounts of Red Stripe and enough Appleton Rum to float a cruise ship and everyone became friends quickly. It is important to point out at this point that Appleton Estates is a major sponsor of the JFTF. It is really a great group of people that the organizers have assembled for this festival.

In addition to the pros that have already been mentioned my good friends and former Jamaican residents Declan and Wayne were in attendance as well as Andy Giles who is the main organizer of the event and has lived in Jamaica for 18 yrs. I met these guys many years ago riding in Jamaica and almost every year since we meet up in the states or Jamaica to ride. It is funny how one sport can bond people from varied geographical locations that other wise would have never crossed paths. I have met some of the best people I know through this sport.

The party went on til, I really don't know how long the party lasted but it was long enough, maybe longer than I needed. Eventually Brad, Tom and myself navigated back to "Rooms" and took a nap until breakfast at 8:00am.

Preface: Crazy Baldheads

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I am back from Jamaica in one (bruised and tired) piece. Before I left the states I recieved an e-mail from Jon Gosse, manager of " Island Sport Trust" in Jamaica. The e-mail explained that we mountain bikers, upon arrival in JA, would be privy to a "Meet and Greet" provided by the JTB (Jamaica Tourist Board). The contact list on the e-mail read like one of those questions on an I.Q. test.

Which one of these is not like the other?

A. Thomas Vanderham
B. Kyle Ebbett
C. Cam McCaul
D. Kathy Pruitt
E. Ian Hylands
F. Gregorio

As if you don't know, the obvious answer is F. Yours truly.

Oh the roller coaster ride of emotion, excited to be riding with the best riders in the world, intimidated at the thought of riding with the best riders in the world. Would I tense up and be hesitant through the wet, technical downhills that are synonomous with riding in JA, or would I ride aggressively and come into the slick off camber corners too hot and blow right off track potentially falling to my death? Would I get lucky enough to just not be in the way? These are just a few of the disturbing thoughts running through my head as I boarded the plane from Huntsville, AL to Montego Bay, Jamaica via Charlotte, NC.

As I predicted my bike box was well over the 50lbs. limit. The obese canister and it's contents tipped the scale at exaclty 70lbs. There goes a quick $50US. But soon was at peace with loosing my fitty and arrived in MoBay for the "Meet and Greet" provided by the JTB. A pretty sweet deal, as I was treated like a real athelete or at least someone more important than I actually am. They mt me upon deboarding the plane and escorted me and my luggage past all those waiting in line for customs to a "Super Special" customs area where they could hassle me in a more direct and personable manner.

Customs official: Wat is in di box?(It is written on their sheet next to my name, Blue Yeti 575 Mountain Bike)

Me: A blue Yeti Mountain Bike.

CO: Kin you open up di box?

Me: If you insist.

CO: Are you goin ta sell di bike while here?

Me: Ha ha.

CO: Are you goin ta sell di bike while here?

Me: No. I will need it when I return home.

CO: It will haf to be fumigated.

Me: Reading my well prepared statement, "It is new, never been in mud, sand, dirt and or grit, and ridden only in my driveway. (note: when going to JA with your bike, make sure it is very clean, put on new tires, and say it is new, you may not not be subjected to fumigation which costs varying amounts of money depending on who knows what, and you will inevitably have to wait for someone to get thru with lunch break, which will take forever).

CO: Ok den wait here.

Another customs official comes over and says that since I am the last rider arriving I must pay a duty on everyones bikes. After fighting this for at least thirty minutes we agree upon $1200JA. Almost $15US. Later I found out Cam McCaul was the first rider to arrive and also paid the duty for everyones bikes. That is the way things work, or don't work in Jamaica, you have to expect it, live with it, and not let it bother you. Things there are not likely to ever change. That is part of the whole experience of Jamaica that makes it what it is. If you can not put up with being hustled, hassled, delayed, and periodically incoveneinced then Jamaica is not for you. At lest not the real Jamaica, the one outside of the all inclusive resorts. Relax and treat others with respect, smile and have fun, or don't go.

Finally through with customs JTB escorts me to the JTL (Jamaica Tours Limited) desk for transport to Ocho Rios, typically about 1.5 to 2 hrs away, depending upon many things (how many cows and goats are in the road, road construction or lack thereof, Red Stripe stops, etc). They insist that I am the responsibility of JUTA (another Transport and tour group) and JUTA denies knowing me. It does not matter to me who transports me so I quickly strike a a helluva deal with a very nice Jamaican lady with JTL and she has me on my way to Ochi within 15 minutes. I arrive at "Rooms on the Beach" in Ocho rios without incident and discover, hey it really is on the beach and for the most part in the middle of downtown Ocho Rios. This looks like a really good place to stay, close to everything but the riding, except the Fern Gulley, Goshen, Prospect loop, which is one of my favorites in all of Jamaica. Now time for a Red Stripe, bicycle assembly and off to the welcome party.

Waiting in Vain

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Yesterday I started the first of two days of packing for the Jamaica Fat Tire Festival. It doesn't take two whole days but it sure takes some of the pressure off to stretch it out. I am really looking forward to this trip, wifey is allowing this to count as my 40th birthday present and I am ready to ride in some sunny and warm weather. It has been terrible weather here in Huntsville.


With the miserable, foggy weather outside I sequestered myself in my above ground lair to pack my bike. I am always concerned about mechanicals in the third world that can ruin your whole trip so I take as many spare parts and tools as possible. I am quite sure that my bike box is going to be way overweight at the airport but at least I am comfortable knowing I might have something I or someone else will really need. My suitcase is probably going to go over as well as I am stuffing it full of spare parts (derailleurs, shifters, cables, etc.) and various items that are hard for the locals to get in Jamaica. We in the states really take for granted how ridiculously easy we have it compared to the rest of the world. I have double most Jamaicans annual income packed into a 47" x 30" box, and I am worried about not having enough stuff with me for a week long trip. Kinda crazy when you think about it.



Oh yeah, as for my wheelset dilema, I have decided to go with the blue Chris King wheelset, since that is what I have been riding on. You gotta dance with the one that brought ya.


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Keep checking back for reports and pics of the 2008 Jamaica Fat Tyre Festival.